101 Poker Truisms
by Rich McComas (updated Apr 4, 2004)
Please send me an email at rich@holdemsecrets if you know of anything that should be included in this list:
1. A .44 magnum beats four aces.
2. A bull doesn't bluff.
3. A dog that shits fast don't shit long.
4. A fool and his money are soon parting.
5. A poker game is a test of your skill against your opponent's luck.
6. A poker player is paid not for winning pots, but for making correct decisions.
7. Alcohol doesn't mix any better with poker than it does with driving.
8. Always remember to pillage before you burn.
9. Amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
10. Any change in your game works for a maximum of three hands and a minimum of not at all.
11. Anyone slower than me is an idiot. Anyone faster than me is a maniac.
12. Bad beats are where Sklansky divided by zero.
13. Bad players deal out bad beats, and good players suffer them.
14. Bet it like you've got it. He who hesitates loses.
15. Bet with your head, not over it.
16. Between "too good to be true" and "worse than you imagined," bet on "worse."
'17. Coming back to Las Vegas is the triumph of hope
18. Computer Simulation: Garbage in, Gospel Out!
19. Don't bet into a bumper. (this is about check-raising)
20. Limping in is like bringing a knife to a gunfight.
21. Don't try to beat the other players. Let them try to beat you.
22. Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines.
23. Even a blind squirrel finds a nut.
24. Even a broken watch is right twice a day.
25. Every time you make a full house, you must subsequently make two four-flushes to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.
26. Everybody blows their first money
27. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
28. Experience is the best teacher. You study long, you study wrong.
29. Fishes are all one big fish.
30. Fold early, call late.
31. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
32. Gambling, the sure way of getting nothing for something
33. Good players can bluff. Great players can see a bluff coming.
34. Fit or Fold. He who hesitates is probably right.
35. Hell hath no fury like the hole cards of a woman scorned.
36. I am a lucky player. A powerful winning force surrounds me.
37. I am not a good enough player to play bad cards.
38. I started out with nothing. I still have most of it.
39. If at first you don't succeed, then please come to our table.
40. If there is only one card that can defeat you, that card is next.
41. If they ain't squealing, you're not winning.
42. If you are falling off a cliff, you may as well try to fly. You've got nothing to lose.
43. If you can't beat 'em, don't join 'em.
44. If you can't spot the fish, look to see who's stacking the chips.
45. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half an hour at the table, then you are the sucker.
46. If you can't win, drop.
47. If you have to think about it, you don't have it.
48. If you really want to get better at poker, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.
49. If you're out for revenge, you might as well dig two graves.
50. I'll take good cards over good tactics any day.
51. It's unlucky to be superstitious
52. Law of Conservation of Cash: Money can be neither created nor destroyed, only taken from others.
53. Luck is a good poker player's worst enemy
54. Mastering luck is still the most difficult thing a poker player has to do.
55. Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
56. Never leave fish to go catch fish.
57. Never look at your hole cards until all the cards are dealt.
58. Never play poker with a man named "Doc"
59. Never up, never in.
60. No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.
61. Omaha is a game that was invented by a Sadist and is played by Masochists
62. Over the long run, those who win the post pots lose the most money
63. Play happy or don't play.
64. Play your cards close to the vest.
65. Play your hand.
66. Poker is a game that goes on within. Control yourself and you will win.
67. Poker is not a game. Chess is a game.
68. Poker is one long game.
69. Poker is truth, but truth ain't poker.
70. Poker players who claim they don't cheat, also lie.
71. Put yourself in their shoes before you decide on the best way to take their shirts
72. Raise or fold... or call and ball.
73. Scared money never wins.
74. Since bad beats come in groups of three, a fourth bad beat is actually the beginning of the next group of three.
75. Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant.
76. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
77. The first rule of holes: If you are in one, stop digging.
78. The guy who invented gambling was clever, but the guy who developed chips was a genius.
79. The house always wins.
80. The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about poker.
81. The more cards in the game, the better cards you'll need to win.
82. The more chips you have, the less they are worth.
83. The next best thing to playing and winning is playing and losing
84. The pot is a fish
85. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket
86. The rabbit's foot didn't work for the rabbit.
87. There are no good and bad hands, only good and bad situations.
88. There are two kinds of river cards: cards that mathematically predictable, and ?*&$%#!!!.
89. There are two theories about how to avoid bad beats. Neither one works.
90. There's a million pairs in the deck (mathematically 1,098,240 of 2,598,960 hands)
91. There's always more money in fresher fish.
92. Tournament directors are not gods. They just tell them what to do.
93. We don't chose our destiny. Our destiny chooses us.
94. What can be said of aces is that Kings attract them and other Aces repel them.
95. What is measured improves.
96. When the dealer smiles, it's all over.
97. When you're finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else decide to play chess?
98. Why am I losing? I know he's not cheating because I call him every time.
99. You can't bluff bad players
100. You can't put a man on a hand if you can't put him on a thought.
101. You never really learn to swear until you learn to play poker.
If you want to publish this list, please refer back to my site.